Walk, run, walk, run.......

I have been on a short  computer break.  Except for basic emails, I have avoided all things computer.  For the past three weeks, my household has been plagued by illness.  Rhinovirus, sinus infections, DOUBLE ear infections, bronchitis,  fevers, fatigue etc.  We are all three now on antibiotics. 

I feel better.  The baby is better.  Now my hubby is sick.  He went off to drill this past weekend, and of course came home ill.  

As I reflect on the last few weeks, I feel rather manic. I have roller coasted all over the spectrum.   I have been distracted,  flaky, dazed, irritable, even dizzy.  I have been chilled and sweaty.  I have been nauseated(antibiotic) and starving.   My recliner is worn where I feel like I atrophied away. I did lose a few pounds.  Chores were skipped.  Naps were plentiful.  Yesterday, I was finally energized enough to clean.  And clean I did!  Furiously! I'm still cleaning today.  Like I said, very manic.  

I even went running today, sorta......My first 5k is coming up this Saturday.  FIRST ever.  I have been training for this run since January. Obviously I haven't been running in three weeks.   I have started over on the training at least three times.  Illness, travel, weather.....those are all my excuses.  While sitting in my recliner with my big blanket watching my muscles disappear , it was easy to be discouraged by the turn of events.  So easy in fact, that I briefly entertained the idea to skip the run and just waste my $25 that I already paid.  What?!!  I couldn't do that!!   Could I? Of course not!!

I say all this (whine and cheese), in order to say, that while I was sick, I was thinking.  I'm always thinking.  I was thinking about Paul in prison, about the disciples in the days after Jesus was crucified, about the conditions they must have lived in.  I was thinking about their "races". I was thinking about Moses.  I was thinking about perseverance even when you know how the race is going to end.  I was thinking about my running water and my fridge and  my modern day conveniences.  I was even thinking about the miracle of antibiotics.  Does any of this make any sense?  I don't know, But I will finish the race.  I will find joy in the running.  I will be thankful for my circumstances.  I will walk a little, run a little, walk, run, walk, run........all the way to the end.  I will finish and when my race is completed, I will be different.  

Easter thoughts...

This perhaps was one of the oddest Easter Weekends.  Saturday felt like Sunday.  We went to church for a youth pancake breakfast (fundraiser) and an egg hunt.  The rest of the day I was plagued with the urgent need to take a nap (or naps), which I usually reserve for Sunday afternoon.  The cubs have started their baseball season, so you can guess what channel our tv stayed on all weekend!!  I love to watch Cubs baseball, but the drone of the crowd puts me out! Perfect napping conditions....

On Sunday, the baby had a fever that I thought we were finished with!!  It is not wise to close up a child in a nursery with a fever and lots of other little children, so I left my husband at home with the baby  and attended Sunday Easter service  on my own.  I also had some nursery duties to take care of.  During my 30 minute drive, I listened to worship music and praised the Lord for what Easter really means.  I enjoyed my ride alone in the car, and the springtime scenery along the way.  I thought about the cross, and about my savior and what must His scenery have looked like.  This is all in sharp contrast to the phone calls my husband was getting all weekend.  I don't like it when he is on call.  There is "lostness"  behind these calls.  The phone rings at  strange hours and it is usually not good.  There is sleep lost and then usually a discussion about people who can't be nice to one another.  About the evil that exists just over the hill so to speak, and about how law enforcement and others who work the long night hours even on Easter weekend.  My husband appreciates these guys on the frontline.  They usually go without thanks and they miss out on time with their families.   I mean really, is it wise to commit crimes on a holiday? 

 

 Lostness.....it is the reason Jesus came afterall.  It is the reason for the cross.  Do the prayers I utter for the families behind these phone calls really help?  Although at times the task at hand seems despairingly without hope,  I know different.  I know that lostness is conquered one heart at a time.  I know Jesus came for all of us and I know that I  have a job to do.  

So, I enjoyed my drive home alone and I thought about all the folks at church honoring the Lord with their Easter finery and the beautiful music and about the folks who went down front after the sermon for a profession of faith and baptism!  I thought about how the Holy Spirit stirs around the room in ways I can't even imagine, amongst hearts and heads, and how even my few tired thoughts of despair for the lost cannot stop His power.  I know that there were distracted hearts there yesterday who most likely did not hear anything, but I also know that there were a few, including my own, who sat humbled at the foot of the cross, even for just a moment. 

He is risen!  He is risen indeed!

Tuesdays Together

Welcome to Tuesdays Together in the Word.  We are a group reading the bible together and sharing each week the nuggets that the Lord's Word has left with us.  Join in with us, wherever you are.  Please  visit DeeDee for more Tuesday Together posts!!

I felt as if I was visiting with an old familiar friend while reading the Psalms from our reading list.   It has only been a month since I posted about a heartfelt step into Psalm 34.  A few of you have read it, but if you have not and wish to take a quick peek, please visit here.

Recycling is always good, but I wanted to share something new from this week as well. It is from Mark chapter 3.

Verses 1-6

 Another time Jesus went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there.  Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath.  Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, "Stand up in front of everyone."  Then Jesus asked them, "Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?  But they remained silent.  

He (Jesus) looked around at them in anger and , deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand."  He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.  

Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.

We don't pay much attention to this man mentioned here.  This man with the shriveled hand.  Who was he?  He braved the crowds and went to the synagogue.  Did he go there to wait on Jesus?  Scripture just says he was just "there".  Had he heard all the stories about this man called Jesus?   What must it have been like to witness Jesus, the SON of God looking around in "anger" and "distress"?  And then to have him tell YOU to "stand up" and make a point to the stubborn Pharisees using your ailment?  Whoa!!  When angry Jesus tells you to "stretch out your hand" you had better stretch out your hand!!  But then there IS an implied faith here.  He stretched out his hand on the Sabbath because there was authority in the voice that told him to do so, the voice that heals.  He stretched out his hand because he was incomplete.  He stretched out his hand because he BELIEVED that Jesus could help him, even if it meant being on the Pharisees list.  He stretched out his hand in obedience and HOPE.  It was HIS moment, and in that moment, that singular moment,  there can be found a life-changing obedience, hope, and restoration!  As far as I know, we don't hear anything else about this man with the shriveled up hand.  Did he take his restored hand out into the world and proclaim the good news?  I hope so.  He really makes me think......  Did you notice that the scripture never even mentions Jesus physically touching the man? We assume that he did, but could it have been even simpler than that?   When was the last time you stood up, stretched out, obeyed and experienced life changing Jesus?  .........just something to chew on......I know I need to......

Thankful Thursday

I'm not feeling well.  I thought I was fighting off a sinus infection, but when I woke up this morning at 3 am with a fever of 103, I was convinced I had the flu.  I haven't had the flu in a decade or so.  I'm a nurse, so my immune system is rock solid!! :)  Anyway, now that my eyes are uncrossing (from the headache) and I'm feeling some better, I thought I would post a little thankfulness.  I'm still not sure if it's the flu or not, might be a rhinovirus, but it definitely seems to be viral--you know how we nurses are about diagnosing ourselves!lol

I am thankful for....

...being forced to slow down a bit.  I really needed it.

...managers who care about me and understand when I call in sick, which I rarely ever do.

...the small burst of "feel better" that allowed me to get a load in the washer and the bed made.

...a sweet hubby who took care of the baby all by himself this morning.

...for simple things like naps, tylenol, zyrtecD, sprite, gatorade, a big blanket, and  Cosby Show reruns!!

...for my Lord and Savior, who heals the sick (Mark 2- my scripture reading for today)

...for the GOOD news we received while having our taxes done this week.  Amazing!

...for answers to prayers!!

AMEN

May you find yourself thankful for the simple things, and the amazing ones as well!!

For more TT posts, visit Laurie

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesdays Together

Welcome to Tuesdays Together in the Word.  We are a group reading the bible together and sharing each week the nuggets that the Lord's Word has left with us.  Join in with us, wherever you are.  And visit DeeDee for more Tuesdays Together!!

______________

Before I share my thoughts on our reading, I first must apoplogize to the Tuesday crew if I have misled you in any way.  From your sweet comments last week I realized that some of you might be under the impression that my husband is STILL deployed.  He's not, he is safely home.  Praise the Lord!!  I am just slow in the sharing.  I have blogged some about the homecoming in a previous post.  He came home in November and things are finally getting back to normal around here (sorta).  "This time last year" is my favorite phrase right now.  I'm still standing in awe of the enormous journey that I traveled.  Yesterday marked a painful one year anniversary- My husband left on March 30th after spending only 6 days with his newborn son.  But, like I pointed out, he's home now and I am different.  And I will continue to share bits of this journey as the Lord leads.  OK, now on to Tuesday.....

______________

Although I enjoyed reading Philemon and Titus, I need to go the Psalms again.  It's just that kind of season, for lack of a better explanation....

Psalm 32

8-I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you and watch over you.

9-Do not be like the horse or the mule, 

which have no understanding but must be controlled 

by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.

I laughed when I read that,  Did God's word just tell me..."Don't be a dumb stubborn mule" ?  Yes!! I think HE did!  I guess we all have seasons of stubborness and "lack of understanding".  This world really wants to lead us mindlessly around by a bit and bridle so to speak, when all along there is a book lying on our tables that gives us the PROPER  counsel  and instruction, and I do mean God's Word.   There is freedom in THAT instruction.  No bits, No bridles. 

Then we move on to the next verses:

10-Many are the woes of the wicked,

 but the LORD'S unfailing love surrounds

the man who trusts in him.

11-Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;

sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Isn't it comforting to know that when you are surrounded by a wicked, bit, and bridled kind of world, that you who trust in HIM are  SURROUNDED by UNFAILING love?  Did you catch that?  Unfailing.  and Surrounded.  Our world will fail us.  Job's world failed him.  He came out okay in the end, I'm sure he was different on the inside,  but the Lord was not.  Unfailing, steadfast, unchanged.  We know this.  Now that IS something to sing about!!  And the watching over you part in verse 8?  Can't let that be missed either.

I can't tell you how many times over the past year, when I really wanted to rejoice.  I wanted to sing (vs11) I did,  but friend I was weary. I'm being honest.  Singing did not happen every day, let me tell you.  Wasn't it enough just to trust and be carried by his unfailing love?  Wasn't it enough to just put on my big girl undies every livin' day, work hard,  and just trust?  Your heart knows what it knows but somedays the singing just did not want to come despite itself.  Despite it's stubborn mule self................

 Glad that is soooo last year....(insert chuckle here).

Tuesdays Together

Welcome to Tuesdays Together in the Word.  We are a group reading the bible together and sharing each week, what the Lord's Word has left with us.   Join in with us, wherever you are.

Scroll down for the Link!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I cannot let this Tuesday Together pass by without sharing some thoughts from the Psalms.  As I have mentioned before in a previous post, I promised to share some about this past year.  I cannot read these Psalms from our list without thinking about my journey through new motherhood and deployment. Psalms like these carried me through.  I cannot read these Psalms without my heart being stirred.

Psalm 27

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life,

of whom shall I be afraid?

3Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me, 

even then will I be confident.

5 For in the day of trouble 

he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle

and set me high upon a rock.

13 I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

There are more than a few folks out there in this world who know what it is like to go to bed at night wondering if they will wake up a widow.  Knowing that you very well could and trusting that you won't....... This is the war of the spouse left behind during  a deployment, during a time of war.  It is a battle on the insides of her head and heart.  I don't pretend to think that I am the only person to ever have their Marine go off into harms way.  Many wives have done this before me and more still will travel this journey in the years to come.  Often it was the knowing that got me through an hour- knowing that someone always has it worse and knowing that my blessings are plentiful.  Knowing that God and I were okay before my husband came along and would be still even if.........

Often, in the late hours, when the baby was down for the night, the pumping was still to be done, the bottles and accessories still to be washed, and all the other "stills" that occur when you are running a household by yourself.......I would talk out my cries of the heart and my Psalms would frequently sound a  bit like this:

The Lord is my light, is my strength, is my salvation.

Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?

Of Whom shall I be afraid?

Not these thoughts, certainly not tomorrow.

If HE is for me, Who then can be against me?

Though my aloneness bears down upon me,

He shelters me

I am confident in the Lord's tomorrow,

This too shall pass, This too shall pass!!

Although my weariness is heavy,

I SEE the Lord's goodness and I am strengthened.

I count my blessings and am uplifted.

Take heart, have courage, wait upon the Lord!

have courage, have courage!

Of Whom shall I be afraid?

Whom shall I fear, whom shall I fear?

GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS!!

Amen

May my mutterings bring you encouragement, wherever your journey may be taking you today!!  

For more Tuesdays Together in the Word, visit DeeDee.